You just might be a slut if…

1. Your skirt, dress, or shorts are cut above the knee.
2. Your sleeves do not cover your wrists.
3. Your hair is not pulled into a tight bun and covered by a hat.
4. You walk next to, not behind, guys.
5. You show your ankles.
6. You do not fear men.
7. You have boobs.
8. You smile or wave at a guy.
9. You talk to a guy.
10. You poke, slap, pat, or high-five a guy.
11. You look at a guy.
12. You wear a swimsuit.
13. You are in an area where a guy might be sighted.
14. You wear any trace of make-up.
15. You somehow wronged the person accusing you of being a slut.

(Please note: This is fully sarcasm and is not meant to offend anybody. If it does, I offer an apology and a Walmart gift card)

So, I was playing tennis, minding my own business, right? And my opponent hits a topspin lob to my forehand in the opposite court, so I go running for it, only to find that my ankle caves in and I’ve twisted it. So my dad yells at me for having no footwork, and I get mad and try to keep playing.

Bad idea. Now I’m sitting here, stuffed with ibuprofen and there’s an ice pack without a proper lid on my ankle. And it continues to hurt. Of course, my older sister says I’m faking it.

Yeowch! I shifted and there’s even more pain now!